Observing you in the kitchen is like watching a suspense movie.
— The one boy I cook for.
Its official: I am so super gorgeous.
What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.
— Chuck Palahniuk (via mcfearless)
I’m getting my brother a copy of Tucker Max’s I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell and a Snuggie for Christmas. Excellent gifts.
I’m always extremely jealous of people who claim to like their jobs or feel passionate about their work.
Trying to decide what is worse: Jerk high school students or asshole restaurant patrons?
Bombarded by homemade fudge, banana bread, and various candies from appreciative students.
I want Colbert to be my date to an ugly Christmas sweater party where we sing caroles!!!
Submitted by paintedtoburn Thanks!
Revising a thirty page legal brief makes me never want to go to law school.
